Do I need help just because I talk to myself?

OMG this week I have been so misunderstood, not once, but twice. Someone in my family and someone in my networking group. One thought I was a counsellor and the other thought the kind of referral I was looking for was someone who was not right in the head.

Interesting I thought, as I tried to fathom out, where that interpretation had come from?

I sat back, well actually I didn’t I walked about in a clean space session with my own facilitator, trainer and mentor Marian Way of Clean Learning. By the end of the session I realised ‘why’ I might possibly have been misinterpreted.

First and foremost people have heard me say something, then interpreted that information based on their understanding of the words I used.

I can now see, how that could have been misunderstood but hey if they had just asked me one or two questions they would have understood.

Now in business it is my responsibility to be heard and understood so I now have to/want to, fathom out a way to get my message across so that everyone gets it. Boy that will be fun, when I am so aware they all learn, hear and communicate in different ways.

What I realised is that I had said for a number of weeks both on-line and off-line,

“I help people have more effective discussions with ‘themselves’ and others.”

This of course implies that people talk to themselves which for many people could mean they are mad or insane.

The fact it got me some laughs I ‘thought’ (a big assumption on my part) they related to it. How interesting you see, I often talk to myself. I was so grateful when mobile hands free came out because now when I look up in a traffic queue and someone is watching me talk they assume I am on the phone, but I rarely am.

Yes I talk to myself but more importantly since discovering extreme listening for productive thinking I also listen to myself,  which I believe is the difference  between me and someone who needs the guys in white coats.

So I guess that me talking about people who ‘talk to themselves’ was the trigger for assuming that I am a ‘shrink’ and I work with people who are mad possibly ??? How interesting!

Are you feeling like people really get what you are about?

Are you feeling misunderstood and that you are wasting your time trying to talk?

Do you get frustrated because you don’t understand why other don’t just … it?

The great news is that often the solution is so simple. This gap in communication is in schools, homes and businesses all over the world.

People want to be understood and yet they don’t understand how to make that happen?

Step by Step Listening bridge the gap enabling you first and foremost to understand yourself then we share how we did that, so you can learn to understand others. We believe that we can raise the aspirations of whole communities and we would love to start by listening to you.

You can start right now by answering the questions below, I would love if you are kind enough to share your answers, because what is great when everyone shares people learn that everyone is so different. Different is fine, it is interesting and it makes life so much easier if you don’t assume you are like everyone else or even spend your life trying to be.

So here goes if you are up for a little bit of productive thinking time aka time to talk to yourself and you would like to have more effective discussions with others try this.

When you are listening at your best where are you?

Take a moment to record your response

Review it and notice what you notice now ask yourself is there anything else about that?

Chose a word that stands out and ask what kind of is that?

You could carry this on for 5 or 10 minutes.

Then ask when you listen like that then what happens to effective discussions?

Is there anything else about that?

What do you know now about you and listening that you didn’t know a few minutes ago?

What difference does knowing that make?

I am confident if you don’t know now anything new right now that over the next day or so you will recognise when you are not listening at your best and the impact that has and you will notice when you are. This is what happens when you take time to talk to yourself or more importantly listen to what you have to say.

Happy chatting

Thanks for listening


If you would like the FREE REPORT ‘The questions make the difference’ please sign up here

Are you a mum of teens that really would like to be able to listen more effectively to nurture and support your teen check this event out

If you are a business leader and you want to listen to your team more effectively check this event out

If you are a Dad and you want an event to communicate with your teens call us now 01329 286648 and we will make it happen


About Step by Step Listening

I am the founder of Step by Step Listening and we started as a company that eradicated fear of failure and guilt for mums, we coached mums and daughters, we then worked with sole trader and small business owners and over the years we developed a unique ability to help people create the family or business they desire by being able to tap into the resource of being able to sell ideas/prodcuts/visions/services in a way that feels right and gets results. For some they are learning to sell and idea to themselves perhaps a dream or an ambition they have had for years, for others it could be selling responsibility and independence to a teenager or perhaps selling a vision or a change of structure to a team. What ever it is we use unique a unique facilitation and group process to help you discover when you are selling in a way that feels right that's like what?
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