In my opinion it is pointless to keep them separate, in fact it is impossible. You are you and part of both worlds so there cannot be a separate. It is a joke that anyone says we should or could. We are one person and who we are at home is part of who we are at work and vice versa. I agree that we have our professional fronts and we can limit what personal stuff we take to work, how long we talk about it and what specifics we discuss. I also know that for many not thinking about home life and focusing 100% on work can be a coping mechanism. I know when my mum was dying I did not tell anyone apart from my up line manager. That way if I looked sad or tired they didn’t give me sympathy, I didn’t want sympathy I needed work as a distraction.
However this whole ethos of keeping home and work separate is in my opinion a complete waste of valuable resource. That whole process of not telling anyone about my mum was so that I could focus on what I could do in work when I was there, I didn’t volunteer for extra hours ( I couldn’t I wanted to spend every hour I could at the hospital) and I asked for help and I said no to people I might have, under different circumstance said yes to. I also did not fall into victim role and simply got on with my job.
The process of keeping what was happening in my personal life out of work made me a better manager, not because I did not tell anyone but because I managed my time with home as a priority and it was as simple as that.
In fact it was probably the most productive period of my career at the time. Followed by my most unproductive period, after Mum died I threw myself into work and found myself working ridiculous hours and eventually I reached burn out and left the job completely to set this company up.
Likewise with my role now, running and managing a company from home, I have learned to listen more effectively and I have designed The Power Group Model which has proved extremely effective in business and very useful at the dinner table with our children.
So there are times and reasons to keep them separate but there has to be space where you can be curious about both and bring the best of you to the ‘party’
So maybe we have to create a space somewhere in our life where we can develop and transfer the skills from one area of our life to another.
I was just reading the book, Kid and Co, it is all about if we treated our children as we treat our customers how much better the relationship would be. It was interesting reading the chapter about the customer is always right. If they come in 5 minutes before closing you stay patient even if you are tired and really want to go home. It asks the question what if you did that when your child asked you for something when the time was a little off for you, then what happens?
So when it is not helpful to discuss personal stuff when at work and loved ones can get sick of hearing about work.
Whereabout is the space for you to explore your strengths and your resources?
Whereabout is the space for you to unravel your own thinking and find solutions that not only suit the business they also suit you personally?
If you are struggling to think of a safe space what would you like to have happen?
If what you are looking for is a really resourceful space where there is the best of who you are at home and the best of who you are at work, imagine if you step into that space for 3/4 hours a month, then what happens?
If you can build a business and a family that is balanced where the 2 kinds of you blend and mix perfectly, then what happens?
What is happening for you right now?
If you don’t have a safe and confidential space to really explore and develop your strengths and discover solutions. Then please call us now we have monthly Power Group sessions and Power Group Retreats they could be just the space for you.
In the meantime please let us know if you decide to try to approach your children as though they were your clients and even more curious are any of you treating your staff as thoough they are your children?? if so then what happens??
Thank you for listening