At Step by Step Listening we see a difference everyday. Whether you stop and really listen for 2 minutes or 3 hours. The people being listened to gain so much clarity of their own thinking and the added bonus of realising that they could work it out themselves means their self-confidence improves.
I am a Business Ambassador with EBP last Friday I attended the Career Fair at Portsmouth all girl school. It was great to get just a few minutes to demonstrate to the girls how they can listen to each other and find their own solutions.
I am often frustrated by society who criticise the youth for not listening. My answer is always and who were their role model. I know as a parent working from home I often forgot to really listen. Only stopping with one eye and one ear. Responding usually when something stood out and worried me. So often it was then out of context. Since introducing Clean into my family we are all able to stop and ask a few more questions reducing the assumptions and conflicts.
So it was great to have the opportunity to share with the girls at Portsmouth all girl school what happens next when you really listen. It always amazes me that when I ask the group (adults or children) not to make suggestions or try to help out but let the person think for themselves how they almost can’t stop themselves from jumping in with answers.
At 15 they are already not really listening merely trying to rescue the other person with a solution. ( I wonder who taught them that??) I am determined to find a school that will open the doors to Clean Language and all the good it can do.
Here are some of the comments the girls said after just 1-2 minutes of being asked questions, with crowds of the peers around them, a noisy hall and with no pre warning.
Imagine what would happen in an hour. I asked them what they would like to have happen when you leave school? Then asked them some questions for them to gain some clarity and understand around that. We talked for just 1-2 minutes and they often had a crowd of their peers listening in. To start with we had celebration chocolates to motivate them to give it a go, but even when the chocolate run out they were still keen to learn more.
I asked them what they know now as a result of being listened to like that?
“makes you want to try harder”
“makes you find your own answers”
“makes you want to set your heights higher” ( she talked about the school set her targets but now she would like to set it higher)
“you can answer more”
“you understand more about what has to happen”
” I would have never have put the 2 together” ( this young lady worked out she loved catering and the thought of her own business but if she used her French which she also loved she would like to sell to Europe and specialise in chocolate) all that in 2 minutes
“made me think about things I hadn’t thought about before”
“it is hard” (to answer the questions)
“helps me feel more confident”
“I know that I need to focus on the future and put my head down. I also need to keep my social life in balance”
This brief session helped them realise what they need to do and a longer session would help them work out for themselves “how to”
Do you know a teenager that you would like to provide with the skills to really listen while they learn to believe in themselves and their own decision-making process?
Thanks for Listening