What I hate about being a good listener?

  • Do you know anyone that pushes your emotional buttons?
  • Have you ever been thrown completely off track by someone else’s comment?
  • Have you ever had to listen to something  you were really not ready to hear?

Well I used to have many moments like that. I had another close shave this week.

Despite the fact that business is going well, we are enjoying the journey, workshops are filling up, regular bookings are being made and we are very excited at the prospect of working with our local senior school. I had a moment where I almost wobbled, almost got thrown off track. But I remembered the self imposed rules I made myself:

  1. Take a deep breath,
  2. Don’t try and defend myself but listen and ask more questions.
  3.  Then ask myself the question what would I like to have happen?


You see a very good friend told me this week that my emails were too long and even face to face I waffle in the same way. I followed the response above and then when alone considered the question what would I like to have happen?

Answer: I want to communicate in a way others  like to receive it.

There was a Simpson dope!! moment when I realised that my mentor has told me this same advice more than once, the fact I started the email with “sorry this email is so long” was evidence I knew the fact.

So what do I know now?

  • I get that I do it, it is a fact it is true, I am a long winded communicator
  • I get why I do it, because I am very enthusiastic.
  • I get that I don’t like the reaction I get.
  • I get that I can’t change others reaction but I can change the length of my communication. Yes every form of communication that comes from me in the most is too long.emails; blogs; conversations; sales pitch; chats; etc.

So the question to ask myself next is:

What needs to happen to make that happen?

Well I have decided to set myself a goal of a maximum of 500 words for a blog and 200 for an email, maybe a time limit when talking?

How long is long enough for you?

 When do you switch off or give up trying to read or listen?

What do you know now as a result of reading this blog?  Which is under 500 words (427 to be precise) by the way

Thank you for listening



About Step by Step Listening

I am the founder of Step by Step Listening and we started as a company that eradicated fear of failure and guilt for mums, we coached mums and daughters, we then worked with sole trader and small business owners and over the years we developed a unique ability to help people create the family or business they desire by being able to tap into the resource of being able to sell ideas/prodcuts/visions/services in a way that feels right and gets results. For some they are learning to sell and idea to themselves perhaps a dream or an ambition they have had for years, for others it could be selling responsibility and independence to a teenager or perhaps selling a vision or a change of structure to a team. What ever it is we use unique a unique facilitation and group process to help you discover when you are selling in a way that feels right that's like what?
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